DC Drabbles
by Jadeile
Summary: A collection of drabbles, mostly about Batman and/or the Flash (Wally). Mostly gen, but you're free to wear your shipping goggles, and sometimes the ship is actually blatant. The chapters are disconnected unless implied otherwise. I write mostly cute, fluff, and humor, but I definitely like hurt/comfort and occasionally enjoy angst.
1. Restaurant

I use the prompt word (chapter titles) as a thing that will get me started with the writing and give me some sort of idea to work with. I'm not trying to stay true to the word during the actual writing process, so sometimes the result will have little to do with the word itself. Take the chapter names with a grain of salt.

Like everyone on the DC fandom, I cherry pick my way through the canons to take what I like and glitter glue them together to make the result all nice and pretty. So while this is mostly based on the Justice League ( Unlimited) cartoon, I might use other sources whenever I feel like it. Although these will most likely be general enough that it doesn't really matter.

* * *

While taking his teammates to a pizzeria to celebrate a successful operation to save the world, Batman found himself very thankful for his abundance of earthly possessions. If he weren't a billionaire, he would never be able to afford to feed the Flash; at least, not in the long run.

He couldn't help but wonder how Wally managed to keep himself fed.

In fact, the longer he thought about it, and watched the Flash make plate upon plate of pizza vanish into the black hole that he referred to as his mouth, the more contemplative he found himself. And worried. Could the Flash actually keep himself fed? He was rather thin, now that Batman actually looked. Of course, some of it was an illusion caused by the amount of muscle on the man, and fat would never be able to take a hold of someone with a hyperactive metabolism. But even so, the speedster could use to gain a bit more weight; to eat more than he already did on a more regular basis.

In the end, Batman skipped the part where he would check whether or not Wally's job paid enough to be able to feed him properly, and just went straight to the part where a few different delivery services started to deliver big parcels of food to his doorstep every day.

He admitted nothing when the Flash asked around the tower about it, and just secretly felt pleased when Wally slowly but surely started to look healthier.


	2. Lightning

When Wally was younger, he was completely convinced that if a lightning bolt hit him again he would lose his powers; that the new shock would somehow erase the buzzing in his veins and leave him a regular human again. It was a frightening thought and made him terrified of lightning storms, which his family mistakenly attributed to him being traumatized by the first strike. They couldn't be farther from the truth but he never corrected them, as that might result in them confirming his fears and making them worse.

He was an adult now, however, and could think things through logically. A lightning bolt hitting him again was a very remote possibility and his powers were hardly likely to suffer any from it. After all, at the very least, he would need to be drenched in the same chemicals, or perhaps their neutralizers, for that to make any kind of sense. If anything, a surge of electricity might even make him faster and more energetic.

However, when the rain was pelting his apartment windows and lightning bolts split the sky, he stayed under his bed. Just in case.


	3. Fuel

It had been a long night. And by long, Nightwing meant "deal with three different villains in two different cities" long. He hadn't planned on leaving Blüdhaven at all, but when he had unexpectedly received a distress call from a cute little Teen Titan in more trouble than they could chew, he hadn't been able to ignore it. Apparently, the phone number for Nightwing was still in circulation within the Tower and any fresh sidekick who was testing their wings was given it as a precaution, in case they didn't want to call their actual mentor or something. Teens. It was kind of sweet actually; although, he was also annoyed that his opinion and willingness on the matter hadn't been asked.

He wasn't sure if he would bring it up with anyone or not, or just remain the silent guardian without contesting it.

Right then, however, he was cursing the matter. He was in the middle of nowhere and out of fuel because he hadn't happened to glance at his motorcycle's fuel meter before he left the city. He had looked at it when he left Blüdhaven, and there had been more than enough to make it to the other city. His estimate had been that it might last him the trip back too, but he had forgotten to re-check when he started his trip back. So of course it would run out.

He massaged the masked bridge of his nose and weighted his options. He was likely smack dab in the middle of the road between the two cities, and he didn't recall seeing any fuel stations on his way to the rescue; if there were any, they had to be off-road and were probably only known by the locals, and an outsider like him had no chance of finding them. There would be no point in walking to any direction in hopes of running into a station. He could just walk his bike the whole way back to Blüdhaven if he had to, but that would be a long way and take just about the rest of the night.

Or he could call for help.

There was no way in hell he was calling Batman. Just no way. He would much rather walk the way home. There wasn't much point in calling Babs either, unless he wanted her to delegate the job of coming to his rescue to someone else. Roy... yeah, no.

...he smacked his stupid forehead, grinning a little. The solution was more than obvious. He picked up his phone and made his call, then waited.

It took maybe five minutes for his help to arrive, and most likely at least four of those minutes were spent on the relatively slow task of acquiring the fuel.

"Hey there, dashing. Come here often?" the Flash asked, grinning widely and holding the precious jerrycan. "How long and hard am I allowed to laugh at you for this?"

"As long and as hard as you want, as long as you tell nobody else", Nightwing answered, taking the fuel with an equally wide grin.


	4. Flaky

Usually, Flash didn't bring any pastries or cookies to the watchtower with the intention of sharing them with the others. It wasn't because he was stingy or didn't like sharing; it was just that he tended to accidentally eat them himself by habit, either on the way there or when he attempted to put them on display. One moment he was carrying the yummies, the next he only had an empty box and could taste the offerings in his mouth. Twice he had managed to get them all the way into the kitchen and had even gotten a platter out, but the moment his hand had dug a pastry out of the bag had also been the moment he had stuffed it in his mouth. Repeatedly, until there wasn't any left.

For a while he had plain given up, figuring it wasn't mandatory anyway. He had just concentrated on not eating everything the others brought by himself. It was the least, and probably also the most, he could do.

That is, until he noticed something.

Batman was often the one bringing in the goodies for others (nobody quite dared to ask about that, no matter how curious they collectively were), but he almost never partook in them himself. Almost never, but it had happened twice. One time it had been a croissant, courtesy of GL. The other time it had been a danish, the kind with custard and light sugar frosting, brought by Superman.

Both puff pastries.

So Flash had taken it upon himself to research puff pastries and bring some to the watchtower, for the sole purpose of seeing whether or not Batman would take one. Curiousity, he supposed.

It had taken a while to accomplish the part where he didn't eat them himself, but now he had a platter of palmiers, the Puerto Rican honey-topped kind, waiting near the coffee pot while he himself hung out by the fridge, expectantly.

He knew Batman was in the watchtower – had been there for a few hours already – and should be about ready for a cup of coffee. In fact, he had zoomed by the monitor room a few times to check within the last half an hour, just to be sure, and had even seen the almost frozen moment of Batman getting up from his chair, most likely to go and fetch himself a drink. Hence why Flash was waiting around the kitchen, trying to look innocent.

He waited with a baited breath until he could hear the soft sound of a cape fluttering, freakily noisier than the Bat's footsteps. And this was Batman not even trying to be sneaky. This being his cue, Flash opened the fridge and started to casually assemble himself a bunch of sandwiches, being deliberately slow about it so that he wouldn't finish his task before Bats.

Flash gave a cheerful greeting and received a grunt in return, then they both fell silent and focused on their own tasks. Flash tried not to look at Batman so as to not arouse too much suspicion; he heard a cup of coffee being poured, a cape fluttering, and then... a pause. A small crunchy crumbly kind of sound. Fluttering again and Flash risked a glance.

Batman was holding a cup of coffee in one hand and a palmier on the other while walking out of the kitchen.

Flash waited a full ten seconds before giving a quiet cheer and performing a small victory dance.


	5. Slip

Flash scribbled on the notepad he was holding, a satisfied grin on his face. His silly little survey was almost done, and he thought the answers reflected the personalities of his fellow heroes so accurately he felt like a therapist or some other psychology person.

He had overheard a part of a conversation during his lunch break at his non-hero work about how people could have vastly different associations over the simplest of words; how said associations could tell a lot about the person. It had sounded like a fun and interesting thing to test out, so he had picked a word and gone around asking the original seven their thoughts on it.

"A slip of tongue", GL had answered, and regretted it as soon as Flash had started ribbing him about the possible double entendre.

"Hmm... a slip of paper", had been Superman's answer, and he had seemed rather amused by it himself.

Shayera's answer had been slightly unsettling; or rather, the grin that went with it. "Slipping my mace out of its strap."

"To slip away, out of sight", J'onn had said, after thinking about it longer than he was probably supposed to.

Diana had simply said "A mistake" and left it at that.

Flash himself was thinking along the lines of slipping on a banana peel or a wet spot on the floor, possibly because of the cartoons he liked to watch or because he had done both himself.

The last one left was Batman.

For the longest time, the Dark Knight was silent and kept typing away at his keyboard, either ignoring Flash or just mulling it over. Definitely for far longer than necessary for such a simple question. It was possible he wouldn't even bother answering, but Flash had the time to wait and see.

He picked up Batman's almost untouched coffee mug idly, figuring the beverage was going to go cold with Batman ignoring it just as much as him. He was just about to bring it to his lips when Batman finally turned to look at him, and the intensity of his stare made Flash pause mid-motion. Batman's face was absolutely blank.

"... to slip something into someone's drink when they're not paying attention."

Flash stared at him for a moment, then his eyes moved to the mug that was almost touching his lips.

He put it down hastily.

"Yeah, I think you should keep this."

He swore to never accept a drink of any kind from Bats from then on, but at least he had his answer.


	6. Slimy

"Hawkgirl, you take the purple creatures. Plastic Man, you handle the yellow ones. Flash, the red ones. I'll take the greens", Batman commanded from their vantage point, sweeping his hand in the general direction of each group of little mutant creatures that were their enemy of the day.

Flash made a face and shuddered, thoroughly disgusted by his assignment. "Aww, man! Why must I take the slimy ones? I always get the slimies and it's so gross! Can't anyone swap?"

He looked from Hawkgirl to Plastic Man pleadingly, but received an eyeroll from the former and a smirk of pure schadenfreude from the latter.

"Suck it up, Flash. Good luck", Hawkgirl said and took flight, heading towards her assigned group of critters. Plastic Man stayed long enough to salute briefly before slinking away, off to do his share of the work. Flash was sure he heard a snicker too.

So not his day.

"It's like Batman's picking on me on purpose", he muttered and stared glumly at the creepy crawly slimy red mutants he would soon have to lay his hands on. With his luck, he'd probably end up being ambushed and covered in their oozy nastiness from head to toe. They probably smelled too. And stained. Maybe exploded too, to top it off.

"Batman is right behind you", he heard and jumped, then turned around to find the Dark Knight, indeed, right behind him, staring at him. Flash gave him an awkward grin and rubbed the back of his neck self-consciously. This kept getting better and better.

"Oh, I thought you... well, I didn't mean-"

"Take the green ones."

"What?"

Batman fired his grappling hook and was off towards the red slimy creatures before Flash could quite comprehend what happened. But when he finally did, he let out an incredulous laugh and shook his head, before finally launching into action. Action that didn't involve fighting slimy creatures and getting covered in nastiness.

It was like Batman was favouring him instead of picking on him. He could live with that.


	7. Slimy 2

Flash watched Batman jerkily wipe off the worst of the slime covering him from pointy ear tips to toe. He had been right with his hunch about the red slimy thingies: they did ambushes, they smelled, and they exploded. They would probably stain too.

He was so glad it wasn't him trying to get that disgusting stuff off him; but at the same time he felt a bit guilty as he watched Batman discard his drenched cape as a lost cause. The ears of his cowl looked like someone had blown their nose on them repeatedly, some of the snot doing this slow yo-yo effect when Batman moved his head around. It was really super nasty.

He owed the guy big time.

Flash took a few seconds to run to his apartment and back, then approached Batman with an old raggy towel in his arms. It had a faded picture of Buzz Lightyear on it, but Wally felt like he could finally part with it for the greater good.

"Here, this might help", he said and held out the towel, "I think I'll put some plastic bags over the seats of your plane too, cos I really doubt you want that stuff on the leather upholstery."

Batman looked at him with much the same expression he had had earlier, when he had swapped targets with him. Then he took the towel and wiped his face with it.

"Thank you", he said, and proceeded to use the towel to get at least the slow dripping to stop.

"No problem. As a matter of fact, it should be me thanking you. I could be in your place right now and I'm very glad not to be", Flash said with a grin, then chuckled, "I'd hug you as a thanks if you weren't... you know, kinda very gross right now. Though I suppose you might not appreciate it all that much anyway. I mean, you're not that big on hugs from what I've gathered."

He was just rambling now, wasn't he? But what could he say, he was just honestly so glad to not be covered in the epitome of gross right then.

"Save it for later."

Flash blinked and looked at Batman in confusion. He had a funny expression that Flash couldn't even begin to read, as much as one could read Batman on the best days.

"Talking too much?" Flash guessed, unable to draw any other conclusion from the statement.

"The hug. I expect to receive it later", Batman corrected, deadpan. He was toweling his boots like he hadn't just broken the universe and tossed Flash into some kind of alternate reality; the kind where Batman wanted Flash to hug him and was perfectly casual about it too.

Flash had no choice but to play casual too, so that maybe the universe wouldn't un-break back into normal.

"Yeah. Sure. Of course. Er, right. You know what, I think I'll go arrange those plastic bags now so that you can get in your plane and with it to the tower to clean up and... there can be hug times. Um. See you in a bit!"

If there was an extra skip in Flash's steps, it was purely because of the fact that he wasn't covered in slime. And not at all because of future hugs. Right.


	8. Slimy 3

I count this one as actual BatFlash, instead of just the "squint through your shipping goggles" kind. Hopefully me saying that won't result in dashed hopes by the time you actually finish reading this for yourself . Not sure how subtle I am in other peoples' opinion when I think I'm being blatant-ish.

* * *

Flash was pacing around the monitor room restlessly —waiting— surrounded by dozens of screens showing him what was going on in the outside world. A world that was surely less crazy than the one he had resided in ever since the last mission. After all, how sane could he be if he was living under the delusion that Batman had asked him to save a hug for him? Maybe he _had_ fought the slimy things and they were toxic in a way that messed with people's heads, and he hallucinated he hadn't?

He glanced at one of the screens while pondering that possibility, then came to an abrupt stop and did a double-take. Was that... a flying cow? Okay, that's it, he was officially— Oh, it actually was, although Superman was carrying it so it probably didn't count. So he wasn't yet _that_ crazy. Maybe. Just otherwise unhinged and most certainly a nervous wreck.

He shouldn't be so jittery over one hug. He hugged people all the time. Admittedly, it was usually in the spur of the moment kind of thing that happened naturally, instead of this strange waiting game. But really, he needed to relax, talk with Bats, and wait until an opportunity presented itself. It was that simple.

"Superman sure looks happy with that cow", he said to himself, still staring at the screen, purely to keep at least some portion of his mind focused on something other than the fluttering in stomach. Instead of the usual butterflies, he was convinced it was filled with winged rodents for this particular occasion. Wait, not rodents; chiroptera. Batman had corrected him on that once and he wasn't about to let himself make that mistake again, even inside of his own head.

"He would be, he talks about cows a lot when he is feeling chatty", Batman's voice sounded from behind him. He turned around to look at the approaching figure, nerves shooting up again. Batman had changed out of the ruined suit and looked fresh as ever. Perfectly huggable, one could say. If one was allowed to say that about Batman.

He really needed to stop thinking and maybe start talking instead.

"Well that's an image. You two sitting in the cafeteria with cups of coffee and talking about cows. Yeah, I can picture Supes with one of those pink frosted donuts, waving it around while telling a story about... what do you do with cows anyway? Milk them, I suppose? Shovel their droppings? Okay, eww, I didn't need that image..."

Batman raised an eyebrow. Or at least Flash imagined he did so, it was hard to tell with the cowl in place. "Superman will no doubt tell you all about it if you ask him. In fact, you should do exactly that; perhaps you showing interest in the subject will direct his attention away from me when he wants to discuss cows again."

"Oh sure, why not. Use me as your shield against Superman's cow stories, why don't you?" Flash said, grinning widely. He should totally tell Plastic Man to ask Supes about cows, as a payback for his lack of sympathy during last mission. Maybe GL too, just because. Heck, he could spread the word around the watchtower in general – make it seem like it's supposed to be Superman who is the butt of the joke. That ought to make people go for it and live to regret it.

"I recall being used as a shield against unpleasant opponents today, so I would say you owe me that much."

Flash's thoughts came to a screeching halt, and he looked at Batman blankly for maybe a second before his brain made the connection. The perfect opportunity, handed to him on a silver platter. He grinned widely, the fluttering little bats in his stomach making a ruckus, but this time in a good way.

"Funny, I recall that we had a completely different deal to settle that debt", he said, taking a note of Batman's expectant body language before diving right in, not giving himself any more time to think about it. Under normal circumstances it would be suicidal to basically tackle-glomp the judo-happy bat, but he trusted it to be safe right then. Red arms wrapped tightly around the mostly black figure, the collision of body against body making Batman take back a step, then another, to keep them upright. Then strong arms came around Flash, considerably less zealously, but still there.

Flash's grin grew even wider, and he chuckled into Batman's shoulder, trying and failing to conceal his relief and pure joy over this little miracle happening. His heart was pounding in his chest faster than the situation probably merited, but he didn't stop to analyze it. He had more important things to do, such as squeezing harder and nuzzling his nose into the seam where Batman's cape met the cowl.

"One hug delivered, as per request. Would you like to subscribe for more, for whenever appropriate?" he asked after a few blissful seconds, finally lifting his head from the surprisingly comfortable and probably addictive spot. Batman's face was as blank as usual when he pulled away from the embrace.

"Next time, don't attempt to tackle me in the process", Batman said, smirked, and turned around with his usual dramatic cape flare to exit the room, and presumably leave the tower.

Flash found himself completely speechless for what was probably the first time in his life. He suspected the bats from his stomach had moved into his head instead. Or possibly heart.

He certainly wasn't complaining.


	9. Cows

Clark couldn't help but wonder why everyone in the watchtower was suddenly so interested in cows. It seemed like he was spending all of his time as Superman telling other superheroes about farm life.

Needless to say, he had never been so happy in his life and didn't question it too hard.


	10. Believe

"So, without your Flash, the Justice Lords went rogue?" Flash, the one from the other dimension, asked him with an inquiring little smile. Slightly mischievous. He was about to make some silly point that probably highlighted his own importance, in an effort to make everyone smile in the middle of the grim situation.

It had been two whole years, yet Batman could still read Flash like he hadn't been gone for one second.

"It wasn't quite that simple", he said. Not playing along, but also doing nothing to drop the topic or make Flash stop talking. In fact, that was the very last thing he wanted to do. He wanted to listen to anything and everything Flash might want to say, no matter how insignificant. He had wanted that for two years.

"Hey, he was the conscience of your group! And that means I must be", Flash said, a wide smile on his face. He had missed that smile so damn much that seeing it now hurt. In an almost good way. He wished he could take a picture. He wanted to have a hundred copies of that picture and put it in every room in his mansion, his every Wayne Enterprises office, his quarters in the watchtower, the Batcave, the Batmobile, every Batvehicle he owned, and in his wallet.

"Come on, Jiminy!" Green Lantern said, shattering the moment and making Flash look away from him. It took every inch of his willpower to not react. To prepare to let go. Any second now and he wouldn't see this Flash again.

"You guys go ahead, I'll be there in just a sec", Flash said, to the surprise of everyone.

The other Batman looked at the two of them contemplatively, but in the end signalled for the others to go, and lingered only long enough to give him one last glance. They didn't need words; he understood the combined good luck wish and warning directed at him. Good luck dealing with the aftermath of all of this. Warning to not do anything to Flash. Anything like tying him up and locking him in the basement forever, just to keep him around.

He felt he needed that warning.

Flash cleared his throat, and he looked away from the portal and the lingering after image of his counterpart.

"I'm not your Flash, so I'm not sure how much this'll mean to you, but..."

Flash stepped way from the monitor and closed the distance between them. Red-clad arms wrapped around his shoulders and pressed his cheek against the wide, lightning bolt emblazoned chest. Hands clutched the back of his cape, fingers digging lightly into his shoulder blades. So gentle and so warm and so real. Such a firm and unwavering grip. Such strength and determination he had forgotten Flash even possessed.

"This world needs fixing, and I'm sure you'll attempt to do it now that you realize it. It'll be hard work, perhaps even impossible, and no doubt you'll feel like giving up at some point or another. Well, I want you to know that I believe in you. I trust you to stay on the right path and do your best. I'll root for you, Bats", Flash said, his tone trying to mimic his usual cheerfulness but sounding too solemn and too emotional to fool him.

He didn't dare reciprocate the embrace, fearing that he would never let go if he allowed himself to take a hold in the first place. Turns out it wasn't expected anyway, as Flash let go of him before he could even begin to reconsider his decision.

"Gotta go now. Good luck!"

And Flash was gone in the blink of an eye, like he always was.

Batman stared at the portal until it closed, then turned back to his monitors. He had work to do, lots of it. But he knew he could pull through, because somewhere across the time-space continuum, there was a man who believed in him.


	11. Fridge

Okay, so he did not expect to end up in Gotham. If he had known the villain could teleport, and wasn't even the kind to do the "hah, you can't catch me while I teleport all around this one room while being predictable in my moves" routine, he would have reconsidered his line of actions.

For one, he would have considered calling backup. Secondly, he would have tried to force the guy into teleporting around one area instead of choosing one direction and going that way forever. Thirdly... he would have grabbed snacks somewhere. Or money. Anything that would have ensured he was kept properly energized after finally catching up to the guy and subduing him.

He called the police to pick the villain up – probably gonna end up in Arkham – and then realized that he had no way to obtain the much needed food in this city.

In Central City he had tabs in some of his favourite food joints, and even got free meals at others, so he didn't have to worry about having money on him at all times. He sometimes carried a bunch of notes in his left boot but he often forgot to replace the spent money, so he didn't always have any. Such was the case right then. He was in a strange and generally kind of hostile city, had no money, and was basically this close to starving to death because of his metabolism. And by "starving to death" he meant "couldn't even run all that fast during the last moments of the battle, much less make it back to home in this condition".

Life really knew how to pull up the maximum amounts of suck sometimes.

He slumped against the phone booth and held his painfully empty stomach, trying to muster up enough energy again to come up with a plan. He knew he wasn't very good at thinking when he was tired and hungry, but surely he could come up with something. Something, something... no money, too good to rob that store even if he would pay back later, can't phone-order a pizza without money, not that he knew the number of any of the local pizza places, damned Gotham City –

Wait. Gotham. Didn't someone live in Gotham? That's right! Batman lived in Gotham and Flash knew where he lived!

With a new-found burst of hopeful energy, Flash got up and began the relatively slow and unsteady run towards the Wayne Manor.

"Master Bruce? I apologise for interrupting your work, but you have a visitor. In your kitchen."

Bruce looked up from his papers, a confused frown on his face.

"You don't usually let guests into the kitchen", he said, eyes searching Alfred's face for some kind of clue.

"I would call this an extraordinary circumstance, sir. Now if you'll excuse me, I believe I have grocery shopping to do. Copious amounts of it."

That left more questions than answers, but Bruce rather suspected Alfred did that on purpose to get him curious enough to tend to the guest. With one last glance at his work, he got up and made his way to the kitchen.

"Oh! Hey Bats! Umm, I hope you're not here because you're hungry, cos I don't think there's anything left in the fridge. Or the cupboard. Or anywhere really. Err, would you like to share this sugar?"

Bruce – or Batman really – figured there would be a very good explanation for this, and he'd get to hear it soon. But he would be damned if he could figure it out on his own, right that moment.

All he knew was that he owed Green Lantern ten bucks for predicting this happening sooner or later.


	12. Skin

It was just one glimpse.

During the battle against a giant T-Rex robot, Flash managed to be too careless to completely dodge a claw missile and the left shoulder of his costume got torn. Then Flash caught Hawkgirl when she fell from another shot, and she gripped his arm tight enough to tear the fabric further. The rip exposed pretty much his whole shoulder and most of his biceps.

It was after the battle that Batman paid attention to the damage; checked whether Flash was injured, and whether or not the wound would even still be relevant so long after the incident. Relatively speaking.

There was no wound, unsurprisingly, but instead there were freckles. Reddish, almost an orange brown against pale skin. A generous peppering of them all over Flash's shoulder and a few stray ones trailing down his arm. Batman could see a couple of them leading towards the direction of Flash's collarbone too.

Never in his life had he felt such a strong urge to tear off someone's clothes. Right then, all he wanted was to find out where those freckle trails led, how many of them were on that toned body, and whether Wally would mind if he followed them with his tongue.

Of course, he didn't do any of that. He did nothing, said nothing, and carried on like nothing at all had happened. Nobody else knew about his thoughts or noticed anything.

But sometimes, during quiet moments in the watchtower, he would look at the Flash and think about it.


	13. Distractions

**A/N:** Saw this little idea on tumblr, and figured I'd write it out. Maybe the OP will even see this sometime.

Also, here's a review reply, since the reviewer is an anon/guest:

"Here is an idea Batman and flash go on a double date Batman with wonder woman the flash with who you ship him with and they must fight a monster"

Thank you for reading my fic, and finding my writing skills neat enough that you want to request stuff from me. However, unfortunately there are two major problems with this request.

1\. "Batman with wonder woman" – I like Wonder Woman a bunch, but just... not shipped with Batman. At all.

2\. "flash with who you ship him with" – Flash, on the other hand, I do ship with Batman. Like, hardcore ship. My OTP for this fandom. This fic here is all about subtly shipping them and everything.

So, eh... awkward? I'm sorry to disappoint, but your request is not going to happen.

Now, on to the story!

* * *

It was a widely known fact that Flash wasn't good at sitting still, or being quiet, or even taking the resulting fidgeting elsewhere – away from people trying to get work done. He was eager to help and didn't want to be left out, so he tried to be wherever important matters were happening when he was able. He was a Founding Member, so nobody could contest his right to do this, or purposefully leave him out of the loop to avoid his distracting presence.

But damnit, sometimes Flash couldn't be more vexing if he tried.

It wasn't every day. Usually he could be serious and pay attention when the situation truly required it, and his fast thinking could be an asset. On good days he could even pretend to listen during the meetings and not fidget too much when Superman was talking. Just... not always. There were days when the speedster was absurdly restless and was literally unable to stay still and pay proper attention to anything at all.

Batman had tried looking into it a couple of times to see if there was something honestly bothering Flash, if something was wrong. He hadn't found anything either time; it had was plain and simply just Flash being restless without being able to help it. It was quite possibly a side-effect of his superpower, the way it altered his perception of time. Flash was aware of it – even slightly embarrassed by it – but still didn't think it was a good enough reason to not attend the scheduled meetings, or participate in monitor duty. He was too responsible to do that, which should be an admirable trait. However, in this case it was honestly painful for everyone involved.

So Batman came up with a solution.

During the next meeting, when it became obvious it was one of the more restless days, Batman stood up in the middle of Wonder Woman's report. Everyone went absolutely quiet, and he walked to the other end of the room to open a cabinet and pulled out a box. He calmly made his way over to Flash and deposited the box in front of him, then went back to his own seat without a comment.

"Carry on, Princess", he said, and folded his arms.

For a moment, nobody knew what to do, despite him being very clear about it. That is, except for Flash. He curiously opened up the box and pulled out a Transformer toy. He looked at it in bewilderment, then he looked at the others, then at Batman, and opened his mouth-

"Diana", Batman said, cutting Flash off. He gave an all-inclusive glare that dared them to bring up the elephant in the room. Nobody did. Wonder Woman stammered for a second, but quickly managed to get her train of thought back on track. The others kept sending each other questioning glances for a while, but then settled down to carry on with the meeting.

In the meanwhile, Flash was turning the transformer in his hands, twisting it into a car and back into a robot repeatedly, but otherwise being still. He wasn't fidgeting, he wasn't tapping his fingers on the table or feet on the floor, he wasn't humming, he wasn't pacing around the room... he was only playing with the toy in his hands, while occasionally glancing up at Wonder Woman, obviously listening with newfound concentration.

The meeting was extraordinarily peaceful. Nobody commented on it, but everyone knew what the cause of it was, and gave Batman appreciative looks. Flash was beside himself with gratitude, and got to keep the toy for the rest of the day.

Not that Batman ever checked if it was returned afterwards or not.

The next time Flash was restless, Batman left him a piece of string and instructions for the first step of cat's cradle. After that, for his upcoming monitor duty, it was a multi-coloured stress ball. Then a toy pony and a brush. Then fiddlelinks.

Then, after all of it had already became a routine that everyone took for granted, Batman brought in play-doh. Only this time it had an unintended side-effect of distracting, not just Flash, but Batman himself.

He had, of course, always been keeping an eye on Flash when he was playing with the fiddling toys, just to make sure they were doing their job and Flash wasn't too distracted by them. But little by little it had been morphing into something other than monitoring the speedster, other than one duty among the others. Now, after increasing amounts of stealthy looks and occasional momentary staring, it culminated in Batman almost completely ignoring what Green Lantern was reporting, and instead watching the crafty fingers mold the colourful dough, a fond smile on his lips. A smile he was utterly unaware of.

The dough turned into a bunch of flowers, then into a dinosaur, then into Flash's own logo, then into some kind of a car... then the fingers stopped abruptly and stayed that way, prompting Batman to look up. Flash was staring right back at him, looking mildly confused for a second, then smiling back at him sheepishly.

Batman looked away first, turning pointedly to look at Green Lantern instead – damnit, he had actually missed something important – but the moment had happened and he would have to face it after the meeting. Both the fact that he had gotten distracted and would have to berate himself for it, and the fact that Flash had caught him watching. While smiling, no less.

Although, just maybe, the latter would not be too bad. At least, judging from the way his eyes strayed back to tracking the movements of fast fingers again, and another smile found a way to his lips without his consent.


	14. Go

**A/N:** Pokémon Go, because nobody can stop me. Sorry, not sorry.

* * *

John was just trying to have one little cup of coffee in peace, with no weirdness going on, before he had to leave for the other end of the galaxy as Green Lantern again. There would be plenty cause for mind wipe by the time he got back here, so he just wanted to have one last moment of normalcy before leaving. It wasn't too much to ask for, was it?

Apparently, in the watchtower, it was.

"Maaaan, the best egg is still 2.1 out of five! Most people get to complain about never having enough incubators, but I have like kazillion of them in my bag because this stupid thing thinks I'm a car", Flash pouted, and tapped away at his smartphone with obvious frustration. He didn't seem to be talking to anyone in particular, just yelling at his phone like anyone who was having difficulties with technology. Which meant basically everyone on the planet at some point or another.

But this wasn't the weird part, even if John admittedly had no idea what Flash was talking about; he probably needed to stay on Earth for longer periods of time sometime soon. It was the next thing that happened that crossed the line from mildly baffling to strange.

"Going too fast, it says. Well sorry, I'll just go slower while, I dunno, saving the world! If that makes you feel better", Flash said, and seemed to deflate with a huge miserable sigh. "...I just wanted a baby or two like everyone else..."

"Give me your phone."

John did a double-take. He hadn't even seen Batman walk into the cafeteria, much less approach Flash. But there he was, holding a hand in Flash's direction in a demanding manner.

Flash looked up and straightened his back, pulling the phone closer to himself in suspicion.

"Why? If you're gonna confiscate it because I'm complaining too loudly–"

"Don't be ridiculous. I'll need it for just a moment", Batman said, and either the tone of his voice or the look on his face made Flash relent and hand the device over. Batman immediately hooked it up on what seemed to be his own phone – it was a bat-themed custom made thing, but John assumed it was a phone – and spent a few minutes tapping on both screens. Flash appeared to be craning his neck to catch a glimpse of what was going on, and John much felt the need to do the same, even if he didn't go for it. Before long, Batman gave the phone back to Flash.

"I overrode the tracking so that it won't attempt to keep up with you when you move faster than the average human walking speed. It will instead take a note of the place where you last stopped and then calculate the distance between that place and your next stop, and add that into your distance counter. Your eggs should be hatching each time you stop running", Batman said.

John understood the theory, even if he was left completely in the dark about what they were discussing in the first place. Flash, however, went from confused to ecstatic in the span of one second.

"Really?! That's awesome! Dude, how did you even– Wait, no way! Are you–?"

"Mystic. Level 37. 228."

"Wow, I have maybe half of those! I'm level 23, and Mystic too! I mean, I meant to pick Instinct but I accidentally ended up with Mystic, haha! But you know what, maybe it was meant to be! What do you say we take down some Valor gyms together sometime? They're practically always level 10 in Central City and I just can't take them down on my own", Flash said, beaming at Batman. He stood up and appeared to be vibrating with excitement over whatever the heck they were talking about.

John didn't know what Flash was asking, but surely Batman would say–

"Saturday. I'm bringing Robin."

"SWEET!"

John decided to leave his cold coffee where it was and exit the room post-haste before this, whatever it was, got any worse.

He had other planets to visit, with the hopes of finding some normalcy.

* * *

 **A/N:** Which do you think is the reason behind this madness? : D

A) Robin made him do it

B) He needs to keep up with the trends to understand the behaviour of the criminals

C) He wants to be the very best (like no-one ever was) at everything, because he's Batman


End file.
